Magic of Musicals [Archived]

Those who know me well know that I love theatre. It was a big part of my childhood, I went to numerous theatre productions between musicals, dramas, small plays and pantomimes as a child (many thanks to my primary schools, after school clubs and my family) and have always loved watching musicals (classics, contemporary and animated). Always wished I was a part of them, as I always wanted to write, direct, produce or dance and sing in musicals whether it be on screen or on stage, ever since when I was a pre-teen. I don't necessarily feel that way today, although it would still be amazing. 

Naturally, I excelled in Drama at secondary school, passed my dance exams (from Saturday classes) and before that I had the privilege of going to a stage school for a brief period of time after many years of dreaming for that to happen. If I have not mentioned that last part already on my blog, that expensive stint was actually at a prestigious stage school in London that will remain unnamed for the time being considering that my time there didn't necessarily feel so prestigious.

Bitterness aside, I still love theatre. It has been my chosen activity for a few birthdays and many dates even, some of which I have reviewed on my food blog. I even went to see a flamenco show while I was in Portugal (Algarve) for my personal writer's block retreat eleven years ago. As a matter of fact, dance stole my heart from day dot regardless of theatre, thus Tango Fire (the Argentinian dance group) is one of my favourite productions of late as Argentine tango one of my favourite styles of dance. I wish I saw the recent Swan Lake ballet rendition from 2022, as well as the seemingly fabulous Northern Ballet's version of The Great Gatsby that ran briefly earlier this year. Ballet Black (a BAME British dance group) is having their sold out show at Watford Theatre this month but hopefully I'll make it to one of their productions in the future.

 

I digress, theatre gives me butterflies and great excitement which is why it meant so much to me to finally produce a play in 2018. I am forever filled with great admiration and respect for all parties involved to make it happen. The entire ensemble that participates from the orchestra, to the costume and wardrobe department, lighting department, set design, of course the Actors, Dancers, Choreographers, Playwrights, Songwriters/Composers, Directors and Producers. It's just all so very amazing to me as theatre requires such dedication, creativity, teamwork, synchronicity, patience and skill to achieve "good theatre."

 

Having heard of Black Wall Street the musical happening in London, via a WhatsApp group page caught my attention immediately, as of course I am aware of the real Black Wall Street (or streets plural- considering the likes of Rosewood, Wilmington, Bronzeville, Oak Bluffs, as well as Tulsa, and a few other smaller ones that went under the radar in America). Thus I wanted to know how this would be portrayed or what side of the story was going to be focused on for their audience. Black History Month is indeed very fitting for this production to take place. So with less than a weeks’ notice and having a very busy schedule between my performances and what have you, I jumped at the chance to see it.

Unfortunately, as the location is clearly made for locals (not so much outsiders it seems), this was incredibly hard for me to find, particularly as I was on foot and not in a car. I really do want the venue management staff to be aware of how dangerous I and no doubt some others in a similar position, found the site to be at night as it was a large complex with different multi-use buildings and a varied car park, with many broken or plainly unavailable street lights. All the above can lead to any amount of accidents or crimes, of which made me very uneasy and upset upon entering the grounds after a very difficult journey to the location. So much so that I felt unsafe and wanted to turn around.

 

Again, this location was made for cars, cars with their headlights to find their way to the parking bays closest to the necessary building within the complex. In any case, there still should be active bulbs within each street lamp and multiple street lamps/lights around the premises to fully illuminate the grounds. Safety is important everywhere, day or night, especially at night. Neglected safety measures do aggravate me and the stone statues of people and animals DID NOT help with my navigation or heightened anxiety in the near pitch black pathways by the way. I had to laugh between cussing to stay calm. The human/animalistic/whimsical silhouettes within the shadows felt very Tim Burton-esque, this would be a great place for a Halloween party.

Because of all this hassle, I was willing to turn around and go home as it had dramatically affected my punctuality and I was missing nearly half of the show. However, as I was on the phone to someone that was keeping me safe and comfortable, more so the ladies at one of the gargoyle protected buildings within the complex were so nice to me when I interrupted their belly dancing lesson to be pointed in the right direction, as they made me feel so welcomed and more assured to just go ahead and enjoy myself as opposed to turning around and having another exhausting hour long journey home on public transport, to consequently waste money on travel expenses and my pre-purchased ticket. If my patience did not exceed my grief then I would not have got to enjoy the splendour that was to come.

[Click on pictures to enlarge]

I was an hour late but tried to enter the theatre auditorium as discreetly as I could, as I hate to blatantly interrupt people or distract them from the stage. Luckily the door was in a dark area but it was still towards the front of the stage where everyone could see that it had opened and just stare at you, which was very embarrassing. However I just caught an intense moment of the production that looked like a prison scene straight out of the 1920's. Portrayed well by the signature black and white striped uniform. This again caught my attention of the efforts from the Costume Designers/Director; the way they were styled to suit each character as well as to suit the era. I was also fascinated by the use of the background projection to set the scene well. A good alternative from using theatre flats.

All of these wonderful little details. Again as a theatre enthusiast and as a Filmmaker of course, it means a great deal to me. I enjoy stage production because I literally enjoy every single creative piece being layered on top of one another. The stage design, sound effects, the costumes, lighting, the acting and most certainly the story being told through well written words if not dance, body language and song. As well as the overall theatre setting of the ascending stalls, circles, VIP boxes (usually expensive with bad angles if you ask me) and classic red velvet stage curtains. With that said, I can say that most of those boxes were ticked here despite Millfield being a small (yet ideal) theatre. The songs were sung very well and had heart. The Actors done what they were meant to do, which was to transport the audience; audibly, visually and emotionally within each act of the story being told. To have us feel like we are in that moment.

 

To have us feel their characters emotions and this play was intentionally emotive. As it would be because it was based on a hard-hitting true story- essentially of the Jim Crow laws that motivated the notorious massacre of a self-sufficient affluent Black area, that had "the audacity" to grow and prosper within their own internal segregated town's economy. The very idea of that reality was an offensive phenomenon to the larger White terrorising population outside of its boarders at the time.

 

From what I was able to catch despite my tardiness, was that this version was told through the angle of what kicked off the violent mob to come to Black Wall Street, Tulsa. After a young Black man apparently provoked a young White woman in an elevator of some public building. However, it was an accidental misunderstanding to which the lady (factually) even confirmed that he did not harm her, however some of the surrounding White people claimed he had laid his hands on her aggressively and ripped her dress (around her arm).

 

This led (another word that has changed the general spelling to US English whereas it used to be a homograph “lead/lead” and “read/read”) angry White people to chase him down, considering that it was virtually illegal to flirt with White women in the name of segregation. The young man was beaten and arrested with whatever unjustly charges. Although I missed a great deal of the dialogue, historically speaking it seemed that when the White men found out about the successful Black town that he had come from along with the protesting Black folk that came to defend him, they decided to burn it down and commit mass murder as punishment basically. Needless to say, the accused crime doesn't have anything to do with the serious crime(s) that followed, and the murderers were not held to any legal accountability. It's so sad that they just seemed to need an excuse to eradicate the town and townsmen that offended them.

 

From my recent research, I learned that much of the Black men who came to defend the young man and protest his arrest (which led to fights and riots), were the ones who ended up getting arrested themselves and some of them either got lynched or immediately put on Death Row. Whereas none of the participating violent White men were arrested. The injustice and arguable compensation owed to the descendants of the 1921 mass murder victim's/home and business loss victims of Tulsa, can be researched more via many news articles, documentaries and YouTube videos.

 

Inevitably, there were many touching and thought-provoking acts (scenes) in the play. Such as when some of the Black towns’ folk found shelter to run and hide with their surviving family members, if not alone and were arguing about how to better defend themselves; run or stay and fight (to run away out of fear and weakness or to stay and fight with dignity, mental strength and pride). Emotional, subliminal, timeless dialogue and themes indeed. Of course, the story is overall about White supremacy and Black oppression on the basis of a key event. Subsequently with the notion of how that reflects in today's society, which is what was largely felt among us in the audience, going by our synonymous reactions. The audience was mainly Black and mature in age. 

 

We largely felt the pain of what our people go through, have been through and are still going through worldwide. May not be to the severity of a whole town being burned down (although something similar happened in a historically Black town of Colombia not too long ago), but evidently there is still oppression. The present day still presents socially, economically and racially bias issues with the police, unjust legal systems that affects us negatively and so on. Therefore there were different scenes, words and lines within the script that were more emotive with the Black audience members, just because.

All of this within the story plus society today, led to an inevitable Q&A afterwards. Which of course came with many opinions and questions from the audience to the cast and Playwright/Director. It turns out that the Playwright/Director of this was one of the co-creators of the Black Heroes Hall of Fame British musical in the 90's, which was a big hit that took place in the UK and beyond. Some of the young Actors in this current musical were also chosen from a Drama school, handpicked by the Director. Which was a nice fun-fact to know during the Q&A as I can only imagine how exciting this experience and opportunity must have been for the aspiring Thespians.

 

Much of the questions turned conversational and quickly went to discussions about the current state of racism and anti-Blackness within England (much of the cast were British and Caribbean but portraying Americans for their roles). All of the above was insightful yet expected and unsurprising for me to hear. However, as I am always one to thrive off knowledge and subsequently loves to share knowledge, I refused to remain quiet and passive when the mood of the predominantly Black audience seemed to be falling increasingly pessimistic and doubtful in regard to Black progression and the thought of us having (to maintain is a whole ‘nother debate) another Black Wall Street in today's date, with knowing that history often gets repeated (they keep getting destroyed- burned down, gentrified or taken away in one way or another). It is important to me to give my people, specifically young people and cynical people who may not know any better, HOPE in such regard. 

Therefore, I raised my hand to give my little contribution of awareness to the conversation which ended up being way more impactful than I had in mind. I gladly informed much of the audience about thriving Black economies that I have seen in recent years between Africa, the Caribbean and America that have done well and are presently doing very well in regards to Black ownership of businesses, land, homes and schools. These are indeed real places, with real populations of Black residents- with a status quo obviously, protection, isolation vs integration, as well as the ones (towns/cities/countries) in development as we speak. I know this due to my recent travels, conversations and extended research. 

 

Everyone is entitled to go and research for themselves and to physically explore themselves to find out more- RESPECTFULLY SO. What people are not entitled to do, to my face anyway, is to deny the facts of these happenings. Black people have lost alot (I still prefer to write it as the original and familiar UK English “alot” as opposed to the new US English of "a lot") but continue to build alot as well as fight for alot. Thus between the time we still achieve ALOT which I have seen all of my nearly 40yrs of living.

The pleasure and joy within the audience from my proven examples of modern day "Black Wall Streets," was infectious after hearing the positive insights I had to share, especially when I quoted some facts and places. The happy grunts of people who concurred in agreement with some of my mentions, was equally joyful. Followed by the side conversations and approaches that I got after the Q&A had finished and we all left the auditorium, in crowds of what felt like a church gathering (when they all take forever to leave the building as everyone is held up in ongoing conversation and repeated Goodbye’s), made for a very pleasant evening. I was taken aback by the amount of people that came up to me to say that they were thankful for what I had to say or the information I gave. 

It was quite humbling as I could tell that some of them just needed to hear that glitter of hope, as opposed to being brought down with the regular news of police brutality, corporate or academic mistreatment, high unemployment rates, crime, lack of development, complaints of struggle and topical set-backs that get far more mentions and airtime. Constant gentrification of Black areas or neo-colonialism of Black countries, all of which are naturally draining and can encourage self-hatred which I have NO TIME FOR. I wanted at least some people in the room to feel PROUD and not so frustrated or embarrassed of the shame and sorrow that is often brought to Black communities internationally due to systemic racism and historic issues, regardless of conflicting opinions. 

 

When I saw the change in the face of a particular young person a few rows away from me, transform from disappointment at what was just said before me in regard to our things always being destroyed or taken, to then going to an immediate smile when I spoke of Black middle class areas and Black owned hotels in certain countries that I had just visited, their smile melted my heart and affirmed my need to add to the conversation. 

 

All in all it was a good night out and worth the transport trouble, for the most part. It was a good play. There was great energy from the cast and audience. The Q&A was encouragingly interactive and the cast and crew were gracious with that, as well as with the many pictures we were all excited to take with them in their costumes! 

 

I will forever be grateful for the lovely women who were sitting near the door that I entered from but stayed standing still because I did not want to distract the audience, and I could not see a damn thing to assure my safety if I was to attempt to walk to my seat! I actually have brilliant eyesight (ask my Optician), but for the life of me all the rows of seats next to the door were pitch black just ready for a lawsuit hazard! Thus I kept myself still, waiting for the lights to brighten. The women sitting nearby noticed this and three of them held my arms to guide me to my seat, up a few hidden steps, safely. That was so sweet! I haven't experienced that level of kindness from a group of strangers (who also didn't know each other by the way) in ages, I nearly fell over anyway just out of shock! 

Two other nice moments were when; a woman sitting behind me believed that she recognised me as a performer and when I confirmed that I was a Poet/Spoken Word Artist, she said that she has definitely seen me perform before but could not remember where. It was my voice that triggered her memory as well as my "beautiful" baby cheeks if I do say so myself ;-)

 

Secondly, someone came up to me after the Q&A, while I was speaking with some other audience members in the foyer and said “Miss, you have such a strong presence about you. From the moment you spoke you didn’t need the microphone. You just have such an aura and commanding presence. Thank-you for what you shared.” I was so taken by that. What a night!

 

Check out more footage on my Instagram page @LkReelDeevah.

 

 

Love Lauren

 

Free Minds for Like Minds [Archived]

[This blog post was archived in November. Some of the following images are blurry but still cute. Multiple photographers. Click on the images to enlarge.]

There is a monthly poetry night at The Dalston Lounge (Dalston Kingland, London) called Free Mind and this is the second time that I've come down. When I performed a few months ago I had a great time and met interesting people with some very interesting occupations, which is one of the many things I love about mingling and networking. Such as when you meet people from various walks of life who can teach you something, I love that.

Last time I recall debuting a new poem at the time but unsure of which one, along with performing readings of two of my old personal favourite throwback poems for the sake of nostalgia. Those poems being My Testimony and Memorise My Lines. Felt good to revive those and to express certain sentiments that some audience members could relate to.

This time being Black History Month (BHM), I really wanted to debut another topical poem however, the poem is so damn long and unedited (as is much of my new writing in recent years), that I simply could not be asked to cram it into my 5-10mins set that would have felt rushed. I expressed this with the audience about being saddened to not have what I was originally going to perform, be ready or polished enough to share. More so that my energy wasn't there to at least give an extract of it despite their encouragement- much to their disappointment (their disappointment from initial excitement of potentially hearing my new material, which felt sweet in its own way). 

As I don't like to disappoint and want to always be able to leave my audience with something to enjoy, I still dropped a few gems for them to hear, think and talk about. Thus similarly to last time, I performed another throwback (Innocence), plus a crowd favourite that was on my mind due to recent experiences (Make Delicious) and a Black empowerment poem of mine titled Passionate Beings. All went down well, and made up for the absence of my new sh*t. The original BHM one was too precious to have been half-arsed, so I'm glad that I decisively didn't cheapen it or disrespect the knowledge and honour of it with a rushed performance, just for the sake of sharing. 

My specially selected substitute poems left the audience with the right amount of joy, food for thought, silence and audience interaction that was intended. Luckily for me, a few people recorded parts of my performance and generously shared their recordings with me which can later be seen on my Instagram.

There were much more people at this event than the previous one and it was noticeably more international than before, since a Poet from Los Angeles (another Lauren aka Coldest Wyntor) came with her group and they were lovely. A foreign accent is nothing new on any day around here but theirs added some extra flavour.

A sweet audience member approached me to tell me how much my poems inspired her as a new Poet and how much she enjoyed my performance, despite not being able to hear the BHM one that she was looking forward to. I met some friends of a 'new to the mic' Poet, whom some of which was coming to a poetry event for the first time and were thoroughly enjoying themselves which is always nice to see. I also bumped into another fellow Poet who I recently connected with from her show last month (Teju Chosen). 

Everyone was just beautifully social. There was a perfect mix of shared interests, smiles, hugs, vocal talent, listening ears and respect.

 

Teju, Wyntor and I ended up hanging out at the bar afterwards having a fun engagement of creative minds and opinions. It's always a pleasure to connect with like-minded positive souls. The Owner, Joshua who is the best and sweetest Host, kept the vibes going with his great DJ'ing (like he was reading our minds with his music). 

I think that one of the American ladies was celebrating their birthday (or birthday week). It was just fun, great vibes all round with the perfect temperature of London's delayed heatwave that many of us are grateful for in this autumn season. There was some food eaten, drinks flowing, drinks offered, laughs had, ideas exchanged, pictures taken, memories and contacts made. Nice one!

I sported one of my proudest haircuts as my own barber, which was well complimented. For a change it was photographed by someone other than myself (or at least with my permission lol) to capture it well from a better angle, so here you go. I often forget about my hair patterns until someone points it out to me in curiosity, shock or admiration, thus it was nice for it to be artistically noticed. I'll give you (whoever is reading this blog) a free poetry book if you can guess or near enough guess, what my unique whimsical design is in the comment section! 

More pics can be seen on my Instagram page.

Love Lauren

Impressionable Fabulous Poetry @ Wanstead (Archived)

[Please note that this blog post was archived in November' 23 to reflect on this September '23 event]

What a fabulous debut to have! I had never heard of Wanstead Fringe until about a month ago and as I love all things art, performance art, all things poetry and Fringe, I just had to find out more. More so, my eagerness to participate was due to the circumstance of being offered a headlining show at Lagos Fringe (in Nigeria) this November, but as the arrangements were becoming far too complex, that booking could not suffice. Therefore I needed to make other plans, and ideally with other Fringe festivals, and here we are.

I'm so glad that I came across this one as it was in an area that I was unfamiliar with, and with Poets that I had not heard of thus everything was new. Moreover, everyone from the Event Organisers (the lovely Chloe) to the audience members and fellow performers, could not have been more welcoming. A cohesive, friendly attitude is not the norm people! Least of all in the world of performing arts/entertainment let me tell you! So this rarity was much valued and enjoyed by the likes of myself and no doubt by everyone else involved.

The venue was nice and quaint, between the cafe area and the performance area. The performance area was perfect for a poetry event. It was an intimate but plentiful setting at the same time, as there was a great turn out. It felt very 'community' like and considering that small Fringe festivals typically target local communities to showcase local talent, to entertain local audiences, my guess is that the locals here are proper patrons of this venue and are in true support of this event. It's beautiful to see, as I have seen in a few other places.

The background, vibe and layout of the tables and chairs reminded me greatly of the music venue 'The Bluebird Cafe' as seen in Nashville (the TV show about the country music industry). The Bluebird in the series was the iconic music bar, frequented by unknown turned famous Musicians to showcase their work. If you know then you know and I know what I'm saying ;-) 

Other than the obvious, the only stand out thing that made this venue feel different from Nashville's Bluebird, was the eye-catching painting of Cillian Murphy. Murphy is the Actor who features in the TV series Peaky Blinders (which I still haven't seen but wish that I caught the theatre production last year though). I know him more from Red Eye and Batman: The Dark Knight.

I absolutely love art, thus naturally gravitate towards various artworks but my word this was magnetic! The likeness was so brilliant, as in real life Murphy does have a striking face and interestingly enough I was debating the other day about him having a pretty face, weird face or menacing face. I'd say he's all of the above really however, as a Filmmaker I stood and stand by the statement of saying that he is perfectly cast in villainous roles. Subsequently, his face, expressions and the painting itself is menacing, yet intriguing and "pretty enough" to raise a smile. It pleasantly distracted me throughout the night. Although I did not get a clear picture of the portrait, hopefully you can spot the painting in the far corner of the background?

 

This may not mean anything to anyone but as a foodie, one who has a great soft spot for M&S (although like every other major retailer they have been slacking A LITTLE the past seven odd years), it pleased my evening and overall comfort greatly to discover a new fruit pack of theirs, that made sure I was sorted (my attitude and stomach) for the night, along with my other snacks. I'll describe that "foodgasmic" moment further on my food blog Deevah's Cravings, but "have ,mercy" did that fruit combo calm my commuting stress nerves and put me in a great mood upon arrival. Food, drinks, seating and toilet use/accessibility all matter a great deal for performers and it is often taken for granted by Promoters or Venue Managers in the gig world, just saying.

Anyway, appetite aside there was a night of extremely diverse, great, eclectic and unforeseen poetry. Very engaging and soothing indeed. I loved all of the variety that we (the entire line-up) had to offer and it seemed like the audience did too.

The poems that left very dear lasting impressions on me were the ones about a Carer's relationship with their patients, that the Poet added a little more theatrical flair to. The one's about their mothers, in specific regard to a Poet sharing his feelings of gratitude for his mother that passed away. Another Poet expressing her respect for her mother's strength in raising her and her sister under their difficult circumstances. The hilariously bold poem by a very charismatic Poet about a love and hate relationship he has towards his home town of Isle of Wight, which left much of the audience embarrassed to laugh at some of the shocking lines given.

I also appreciated the range of ages between us as well as our topics, since the line-up was not of a specific demographic age-wise. Therefore, different ages of the audience had more to appreciate in turn. Actually, the crowd was mainly middle-aged, mature/senior, with few young people and fewer teenagers, enthusiastically soaking in the poetry at this Fringe event.

The teenagers and questionably 'tween-agers' that being typically of 12-14yrs old, made me very concerned about the poems that I decided to perform. I was concerned for the mere fact that more than one of my poems were of adult content with some sexual references and I did not want to disturb their minds nor vex their parents. However, their mothers were present and permissively encouraged me to share what I wanted to share with their green-lit enthusiasm. And so I did. 

Being that I finally edited the final draft of my poem My King, which is to add to my long-awaited special edition of I'm All In. My word (no pun intended yet again), this was my 6th edit people! Good grief, editing is getting harder and painstakingly longer as the years go on, whereas I thought that aging would make me more decisive...but apparently not at least where my art is concerned.

Alas, I was very proud of what I did with this performance as it was cleverly and coincidentally linked in with Alice in Wonderland Day (yes it's a real thing in UK 4th July) when I completed an earlier draft of My King. Since the overall visionary theme of the book is adopted from Alice in Wonderland and is a spin-off of the initial collection's My Queen poem from the Love chapter, which is followed by Heaven...Wonderland in the Lust chapter. I collated all three poems for this event to make for a story, for the audience to take in, connect the symbolism of among themselves and so on. It was a fun, semi-interactive experience. Another one that I wish was officially recorded, although I saw a couple of individuals record some parts with their phones.

What was also really nice is that there was one lady who seemed to be at the event by the force of her mother, and was just there to oblige as opposed to really enjoying herself, but once I began to perform after having given my introduction, her face lit up and she was enjoying the show. Audience connections like that are priceless. The young lady later came up to me, confirming my thoughts and told me how happy she was that I came.

What always completes a performance is not just the applause but the adoring feedback and personal messages direct or indirectly that you get from the audience. The people that come up to you shyly, bashfully (depending on what they want to say) or excitedly to tell you how much they enjoyed your set and want to know where they can find out more about your work; via your products if any or your online presence. Although it can be overwhelming at times, it's fabulous! The Host who had never heard my poetry before and probably didn't know what to expect, was particularly happy and impressed with what she saw and heard from me, so much so that she repeated her thoughts on camera, as seen on my Instagram.

By the end of the night my feet were F'IN KILLING ME, for the worst time in a long time! Not just due to past surgeries for those who know my health history, but due to the debut use of the overdue exhibition of my unused, few birthdays old b'day present being gorgeous, blush pink aka salmon, suede platform stiletto, awfully pointed but well presented, not for walking, just for posing, matches my corset shirt dress, SHOES....yeah. Girly and to some silly, but I simply LOVE beautiful shoes like Cruella DeVil loves real fur, SO THERE! I say with my childish tone. To repeat my word of the day, I looked FABULOUS.

Until My Next Post,

Lauren

Appearing at Wanstead Fringe 2023

It has been a while since I have updated my blog, let alone informed my audience about a performance of mine in advance. I had my reasons. The past month has been great actually, productivity-wise, performance-wise and inspiration-wise. September 2023 has been full of unforeseen opportunities, welcomed offers and things to be grateful for.

In regards to performances it was a pleasure to perform at BYOB Box Park Wembley for the first time, performing a recently written crowd-pleasing poem that I debuted at Verses the month before. I saw some familiar faces (fellow Poets) and met many lovely new ones (Poets and audience members turned new fans), and I sold more books which never gets old. Although I recorded the audio of my performance, unfortunately it didn't record well. I wish there was footage of that night as my outfit alone was amazing if I do say so myself ;-) If anything useful comes up on social media from that night, I'll share it with you.

Two weeks ago I attended the launch night of a new variety show called Words & Whizzdom. This was to support another Poet who I met many years ago when she came to perform on the open mic of my poetry event, Poetic Justice. It's always nice to reconnect with people you have once shared a stage with. 

When you have been performing, promoting and event planning for as long as I have, the poetry and open mic circuit gets smaller and smaller, no matter how big it may be getting to the general public with today's notable amount of weekly poetry/spoken word events (in contrast to a few monthly events 5-10yrs ago), growing commercial names and constant newcomers. In saying that, I relished the ol' skool vibe of this event and seeing familiar acts from back in the day (both Poets and Comedians). Again, you should've seen my outfit, my shoes were just too cute! The heatwave has got me making an extra effort lol.

Anyway, I'm happy to announce that I'll be performing at the spoken word event as part of Wanstead Fringe Festival, along with other poetic headlining acts next week. Information is as follows:

WANSTEAD FRINGE FESTIVAL

SPOKEN WORD NIGHT

WED 27th SEPTEMBER 7pm-9:30pm

@ CITY PLACE

5 CLOCK HOUSE PARADE

WANSTEAD

LONDON, E11 2AG

ENTRY FEE: £8

The Power of a Maternal Figure

[As written on my FB page www.facebook.com/lkreeldeevah for Mother's Day 2023]

This beautiful painting was hung on the corridors of Heaven Hotel in Rwanda and caught my attention everyday, with its sweet family oriented endearment that reminds me of my mother and I.

To echo my sincere sentiments of my annual Mother's Day social posts; I really admire mother figures that come in all walks of life whether that be the Childminder/Nanny/Au Pair who took care of us with responsibility and warmth, a Teacher or Coach who truly cared about us getting ahead in life and our academic achievements, with great pride, encouragement and attention. A kind neighbour (I know someone who calls their neighbour "Aunty" which I think is so sweet as they are that close) who looked out for us on occasion "to add to the village who raises us". Honorary Aunties by action not just title or blood deserve a shout-out here!

And godmothers as I've always repped. The ones who go out of their way to be in their god children's lives and not just with gifts but literally be that extended family member. It's not about blood but about love. To stepmothers who go above and beyond to be an additional parent in the most maternal way in their step-child's life, whether they came into their life as an adult or youth. Too many times I hear of the "evil stepmother" complex, the disruptors who do not have the child's best interest at heart by abusing them or disrupting their relationship with their father (I recently heard this of a friend and it breaks my heart). My poem 'Steps' reflect the stepmothers that I am championing here in the best possible way.

What I referred to 2yrs ago in an old post but cannot find; are the rare and wonderful girlfriends of fathers who bond with you (if it applies) and genuinely wanted to get to know you, earn your trust as opposed to just get along with you for the sake of appearances or getting close to your dad. The ones who willingly accept the package deal so to speak, by making sure you don't feel left out, much love to them!

I respect the kind of female mentors that take someone under her wing and enjoys seeing them prosper, in a mother hen kind of way. Even the ones you may find in a gang for example (which I have witnessed) where they are the oldest and even though they may be getting up to no good as a bad influence, they genuinely look out for the youngings in the crew. Particularly with the more vulnerable ones that have no family/parents, is who they tend to be a mother figure to and I won't deny them that acknowledgement.

Not long ago I wrote and will always highlight, the many grandmothers that end up being the mother and primary guardian to their grandchildren just because life would have it that way, which is usually an economic issue (I sadly hear it in rap songs all the time- J. Cole most recently). When grandmothers move their grandchildren in willingly, with LOVE and responsibility which is technically a burden in any case, that burden is largely appreciated and valued by many individuals that had to be raised by their grandmothers as opposed to their birth mothers. More than one friend of mine comes to mind here, as well as Oprah Winfrey actually (listen to her podcast about her childhood).

I will unapologetically repeat that I am not praising every woman or every mother today. I am literally speaking to MATERNAL mother figures who lovingly and non-regrettably take on this significant role in someone's life.

There are a couple other poems of mine that I wrote years ago where I speak about people that didn't get the chance to be a mother yet due to unfortunate circumstances, where they desperately wanted it but may have miscarried or had a stillbirth and they feel robbed of motherhood. I referred to having hysterectomies, stillbirths and women who only got to enjoy pregnancy in the upcoming months (not to full term). I know there is little comparison and I cannot fully empathise, but to these real people who have lived through such experiences you do have my sympathy and my caring thoughts of you as a "real mother" nonetheless.

To the people that I know personally who are raising their children beautifully and as best they can, "Cheers to you" . To women that are currently expecting or even in labour today about to meet your babies for the first time, this is for you. For the single or young mothers who are really trying to provide and do well but are terrified and unsure of your selves; BE BRAVE, BE LOVING, APPROACH IT KINDLY and WISELY, just celebrate your motherhood today

For the new adoptive mothers who just got the legal approval of adoption and enjoying every moment of being a parent, which is such a beautiful thing (I'm thinking of a certain YouTuber going through this right now), this is for you . To women who have literally saved children (not just purchased a child from a poor country by the way, yeah I said it) and taken them in- not necessarily through the foster system but through a way of humanity where you know that you saved their life just by being supportive and caring in a maternal way that is seriously needed BIG UP YOU. This naturally applies to great foster mothers who also open their doors and theirs hearts to care for children in need. Support and love is everything, so if by any chance you have done that then this celebratory post is very much for you .

To birth mothers who raised children with love, grace, guidance, positive purpose and all the sacrifices and all the joys that came with it. I wish you a very happy Mother's Day

Lastly, I know this does not get said often but I know that there are many mothers who have made some big mistakes in their parenting and have fallen out with the children as a result. Some mistakes are more damaging than others, however as human beings we are all responsible for the decisions that we make so if you have been at fault in this regard (e.g. inflicted harm, pain or neglect as a mother) it is important to take the responsibility and own up to it as opposed to deny or blame your child (I see this common dysfunction far too often).

I say this not to shame but to actually give a SALUTE to the mothers who came to terms with where they have failed in motherhood, check themselves, CORRECT IT and have been ACTIVELY putting in the work to rebuild a relationship with their child/children. To be responsible, rebuild and repair is no easy task. Therefore, if you do not let those hurdles get in your way nor "unforgiveness" from either side get in your way and you're being a better mother, your love is still there, you're still showing it and you're still trying because your love for your child is unconditional, then I do very much wish you a "Happy Mother's Day Day too "

Lauren Kaye

The Power of Belief and Music

The one hit wonder Rapper M.I.M.S (This Is Why I'm Hot) said that his name stood for "Music Is My Savior" which I thought was great. Music certainly is my (and no doubt many others) savior as words are extremely effective (no matter who tries to deny it). Words can motivate, destroy, convince, manipulate, encourage, reward, build or break you, whether they be spoken directly to you by someone, seen in writing or heard from a Motivational Speaker/Preacher/Politician/Cult Leader or in a song. When words touch you, they touch you and in many cases really hit home so to speak. 

The past year I have been travelling around Africa (East and South this time) and much took place while I was working on my new book and considering a new country to plant roots. It became extremely adventurous and tumultuous as one can imagine, for me as a solo female traveller being extremely ambitious with my goals between very different countries. So much so that spiralling events began to take its toll, push me to the limit and have me seriously doubt myself, which is dangerous as much as it is scary especially for a Creative Freelancer and what have you.

Words and events often control what we think and believe. Despite all the wonderful things that I have experienced on my travels, recent events and bad words in my head including some from opposing folk whom I know personally, have lead (led to some of you) me to think the worst of the situation and truly disrupted my faith in my mission. Naturally this was soul crushing and was stopping me from moving forward or moving at all, because I had to get my mind right by putting sensibility before sensitivity in order to do what I came to do.

Never in my life have I become so spiritual (although still not religious) as my faith had to carry me through alot of sh*t, plenty of unforeseen sh*t and miracles that took place as a direct result of my faith and it was amazing! I have been left truly awe inspired in amazement at the great turn of events that worked out in my favour due to my new found heightened amount of FAITH & BELIEF, in what I wanted and needed to happen and it has just been astonishing. 

There were quite a few moments where either my life or my livelihood were in serious jeopardy; I panicked, refocused, believed in the seemingly impossible and got it together. With the help of those who love and support me but overall it felt spiritual on more than one occasion. In any case, regardless of the practical things that unfolded, I knew that I had to BELIEVE in my ability, my determination, zest and zeal to make it happen in order to even have the opportunity for my resources to become available to me. 

There was a particular stressful week when I was in Rwanda that was just unbelievably difficult, especially considering certain things that happened prior thus it felt completely unjust, I was in disbelief at what was transpiring and at a complete loss of patience. To take myself out of my stagnant sorrow I needed some inspiration and soul soothing words to basically hug and encourage me. 

Beyond playing my 'Uplifting/Motivational Playlist' that I think many people should create if and when in need, lucky for me I had my very own (written) self-help book to turn to of well thought-out, empowering,  motivational and inspirational quotes that I just published. Of which I wrote so passionately that I could quite literally turn to it myself when in need AND IT F'IN WORKED! By the way, I keep swearing because I'm excited, my vocabulary is emotionally driven at present, not decisively crass.

The quotes that I randomly read hit home so hard that it wasn't funny, but it was wonderful. Wonderful and necessary 'motivational quotes' indeed! The one I wrote about believing in one self by investing in one self, was what I needed to reconcile with to myself.

I had to remind myself that I didn't come this far, to only come this far. Nor was I going to allow myself to just rely on others to invest in me, or for me to half-step how much I was emotionally investing in myself when I knew that it wasn't enough. I knew that I had to fully invest in myself and my goals not just financially but physically and emotionally no matter how weak I felt at the time, and I sh*t you not my strength came right back! 

On more serious occasions I had to remind myself that I can move mountains and come out of the situations that I felt stuck in. It was this self-coaching mentality that got me by and believe it or not it was also certain songs that kept my goal-getting adrenaline pumping (not meant to rhyme).

The songs that I have been listening to on repeat lately due to my new need and new found attraction for them, are by Whitney Houston of all people! Specifically Step by Step and When You Believe featuring Mariah Carey (and written by Babyface!!!). I have a new found respect for Whitney's music catalogue of being so much more than just ballads, rest her wonderful soul. This was briefly echoed in my tweets and Facebook posts from last year for the same reason, as I came to realise that there were at least three songs that I can name (including the two previously mentioned and The Greatest Love of All which was taught to me at primary school in order for us to see our potential and develop self-esteem, which I took for granted at the tender age of six years old).

I had to laugh through my anxiety when I found myself breaking into song from a random lyric of Step by Step with 'Come on baby got to keep moving, come on baby...' and had to play it on YouTube immediately when I remembered where the lyrics came from. Yet nothing, can compare to the emotional response that I have in my adult age whenever I listen to the lyrics of When You Believe, of which I cannot believe that I only recently discovered was written by the same lyrical genius who wrote the Waiting to Exhale soundtrack oh my days!

'We were moving mountains long, before we knew we cooooouuuuld......Though hope is frail, it's hard to kiiilllllll.....Who knows what miracles you can achieve.....when you beliiieeeeevve....somehow you wiiillll, you will when yooouuu belieeeeeeve........and it's easy to give in to your fears.....but when you're blinded  by your faith.......'

Oh my goodness those diva's, TRUE DIVA'S- GONE ARE THE DAYS! Sang the f**k out of that song. Their brilliant range of vocals singing passionate words of reason, fill me with such optimism. Words and the gift of song are so damn powerful. That song in particular, as well as my 2021 mantra of "Faith above fear," made me check myself and elevate myself accordingly, on what became a literal journey of self-discovery. It was beautiful you should've seen it, I MOVED MOUNTAINS! Miracles happened and it brought me plenty tears of joy. Overwhelming joy.

Those instances affected me both personally and professionally in the best possible way. However, the song in the soundtrack to my life since that's what they are appearing to be lol, was Believe by Raheem DeVaughn which you will understand more when you follow my Instagram video link below. I heard that song differently a particular morning of an immense amount of unnecessary stress that had been piling up for weeks (in Namibia) on an empty stomach. Via YouTube's algorithm that song came just on time- and with no interrupting ads. It was a very mindful moment and reminded me to believe in myself as I stated in my quote book and to trust in my purpose, period.

I say all this to remind others in similar situations whose faith is shattered or on the verge of being so, perhaps dwelling in self-doubt and pessimism for whatever reason and generally feeling overwhelmed with discouragement and negativity- IT WILL PASS. YOU CAN COME OUT OF IT, STARTING WITH YOUR MINDSET. Just breathe....focus, reboot, reset, restart and HAVE FAITH in what you are doing and what you want the outcome to be. I'd like to redirect you to the video recording that I did the day that I came to that realisation and decided to share how I was feeling with my audience.

Watch my video clip on my Instagram

#WellnessWednesday

As this month of Mental Health Awareness marks nearly a full year since the limited release of my exclusive quote book from Infiniti Promotions merchandise, I will give readers a 25% discount for you to order a CUSTOM VERSION of personalised #ILoveMyselfBecause quotes for me to create for you (normally £100). Just put the discount code MHAM2225 in the subject line in an email, give me a brief of your request and send it to LKsamuels@infinitipromotions.co.uk. Making these quote books is one of the best things that I've ever done so I am more than happy to keep making them for those who need them most.

Love Lauren