The one hit wonder Rapper M.I.M.S (This Is Why I'm Hot) said that his name stood for "Music Is My Savior" which I thought was great. Music certainly is my (and no doubt many others) savior as words are extremely effective (no matter who tries to deny it). Words can motivate, destroy, convince, manipulate, encourage, reward, build or break you, whether they be spoken directly to you by someone, seen in writing or heard from a Motivational Speaker/Preacher/Politician/Cult Leader or in a song. When words touch you, they touch you and in many cases really hit home so to speak.
The past year I have been travelling around Africa (East and South this time) and much took place while I was working on my new book and considering a new country to plant roots. It became extremely adventurous and tumultuous as one can imagine, for me as a solo female traveller being extremely ambitious with my goals between very different countries. So much so that spiralling events began to take its toll, push me to the limit and have me seriously doubt myself, which is dangerous as much as it is scary especially for a Creative Freelancer and what have you.
Words and events often control what we think and believe. Despite all the wonderful things that I have experienced on my travels, recent events and bad words in my head including some from opposing folk whom I know personally, have lead (led to some of you) me to think the worst of the situation and truly disrupted my faith in my mission. Naturally this was soul crushing and was stopping me from moving forward or moving at all, because I had to get my mind right by putting sensibility before sensitivity in order to do what I came to do.
Never in my life have I become so spiritual (although still not religious) as my faith had to carry me through alot of sh*t, plenty of unforeseen sh*t and miracles that took place as a direct result of my faith and it was amazing! I have been left truly awe inspired in amazement at the great turn of events that worked out in my favour due to my new found heightened amount of FAITH & BELIEF, in what I wanted and needed to happen and it has just been astonishing.
There were quite a few moments where either my life or my livelihood were in serious jeopardy; I panicked, refocused, believed in the seemingly impossible and got it together. With the help of those who love and support me but overall it felt spiritual on more than one occasion. In any case, regardless of the practical things that unfolded, I knew that I had to BELIEVE in my ability, my determination, zest and zeal to make it happen in order to even have the opportunity for my resources to become available to me.
There was a particular stressful week when I was in Rwanda that was just unbelievably difficult, especially considering certain things that happened prior thus it felt completely unjust, I was in disbelief at what was transpiring and at a complete loss of patience. To take myself out of my stagnant sorrow I needed some inspiration and soul soothing words to basically hug and encourage me.
Beyond playing my 'Uplifting/Motivational Playlist' that I think many people should create if and when in need, lucky for me I had my very own (written) self-help book to turn to of well thought-out, empowering, motivational and inspirational quotes that I just published. Of which I wrote so passionately that I could quite literally turn to it myself when in need AND IT F'IN WORKED! By the way, I keep swearing because I'm excited, my vocabulary is emotionally driven at present, not decisively crass.
The quotes that I randomly read hit home so hard that it wasn't funny, but it was wonderful. Wonderful and necessary 'motivational quotes' indeed! The one I wrote about believing in one self by investing in one self, was what I needed to reconcile with to myself.
I had to remind myself that I didn't come this far, to only come this far. Nor was I going to allow myself to just rely on others to invest in me, or for me to half-step how much I was emotionally investing in myself when I knew that it wasn't enough. I knew that I had to fully invest in myself and my goals not just financially but physically and emotionally no matter how weak I felt at the time, and I sh*t you not my strength came right back!
On more serious occasions I had to remind myself that I can move mountains and come out of the situations that I felt stuck in. It was this self-coaching mentality that got me by and believe it or not it was also certain songs that kept my goal-getting adrenaline pumping (not meant to rhyme).
The songs that I have been listening to on repeat lately due to my new need and new found attraction for them, are by Whitney Houston of all people! Specifically Step by Step and When You Believe featuring Mariah Carey (and written by Babyface!!!). I have a new found respect for Whitney's music catalogue of being so much more than just ballads, rest her wonderful soul. This was briefly echoed in my tweets and Facebook posts from last year for the same reason, as I came to realise that there were at least three songs that I can name (including the two previously mentioned and The Greatest Love of All which was taught to me at primary school in order for us to see our potential and develop self-esteem, which I took for granted at the tender age of six years old).
I had to laugh through my anxiety when I found myself breaking into song from a random lyric of Step by Step with 'Come on baby got to keep moving, come on baby...' and had to play it on YouTube immediately when I remembered where the lyrics came from. Yet nothing, can compare to the emotional response that I have in my adult age whenever I listen to the lyrics of When You Believe, of which I cannot believe that I only recently discovered was written by the same lyrical genius who wrote the Waiting to Exhale soundtrack oh my days!
'We were moving mountains long, before we knew we cooooouuuuld......Though hope is frail, it's hard to kiiilllllll.....Who knows what miracles you can achieve.....when you beliiieeeeevve....somehow you wiiillll, you will when yooouuu belieeeeeeve........and it's easy to give in to your fears.....but when you're blinded by your faith.......'
Oh my goodness those diva's, TRUE DIVA'S- GONE ARE THE DAYS! Sang the f**k out of that song. Their brilliant range of vocals singing passionate words of reason, fill me with such optimism. Words and the gift of song are so damn powerful. That song in particular, as well as my 2021 mantra of "Faith above fear," made me check myself and elevate myself accordingly, on what became a literal journey of self-discovery. It was beautiful you should've seen it, I MOVED MOUNTAINS! Miracles happened and it brought me plenty tears of joy. Overwhelming joy.
Those instances affected me both personally and professionally in the best possible way. However, the song in the soundtrack to my life since that's what they are appearing to be lol, was Believe by Raheem DeVaughn which you will understand more when you follow my Instagram video link below. I heard that song differently a particular morning of an immense amount of unnecessary stress that had been piling up for weeks (in Namibia) on an empty stomach. Via YouTube's algorithm that song came just on time- and with no interrupting ads. It was a very mindful moment and reminded me to believe in myself as I stated in my quote book and to trust in my purpose, period.
I say all this to remind others in similar situations whose faith is shattered or on the verge of being so, perhaps dwelling in self-doubt and pessimism for whatever reason and generally feeling overwhelmed with discouragement and negativity- IT WILL PASS. YOU CAN COME OUT OF IT, STARTING WITH YOUR MINDSET. Just breathe....focus, reboot, reset, restart and HAVE FAITH in what you are doing and what you want the outcome to be. I'd like to redirect you to the video recording that I did the day that I came to that realisation and decided to share how I was feeling with my audience.
Watch my video clip on my Instagram
Love Lauren
