The Power of a Maternal Figure

[As written on my FB page www.facebook.com/lkreeldeevah for Mother's Day 2023]

This beautiful painting was hung on the corridors of Heaven Hotel in Rwanda and caught my attention everyday, with its sweet family oriented endearment that reminds me of my mother and I.

To echo my sincere sentiments of my annual Mother's Day social posts; I really admire mother figures that come in all walks of life whether that be the Childminder/Nanny/Au Pair who took care of us with responsibility and warmth, a Teacher or Coach who truly cared about us getting ahead in life and our academic achievements, with great pride, encouragement and attention. A kind neighbour (I know someone who calls their neighbour "Aunty" which I think is so sweet as they are that close) who looked out for us on occasion "to add to the village who raises us". Honorary Aunties by action not just title or blood deserve a shout-out here!

And godmothers as I've always repped. The ones who go out of their way to be in their god children's lives and not just with gifts but literally be that extended family member. It's not about blood but about love. To stepmothers who go above and beyond to be an additional parent in the most maternal way in their step-child's life, whether they came into their life as an adult or youth. Too many times I hear of the "evil stepmother" complex, the disruptors who do not have the child's best interest at heart by abusing them or disrupting their relationship with their father (I recently heard this of a friend and it breaks my heart). My poem 'Steps' reflect the stepmothers that I am championing here in the best possible way.

What I referred to 2yrs ago in an old post but cannot find; are the rare and wonderful girlfriends of fathers who bond with you (if it applies) and genuinely wanted to get to know you, earn your trust as opposed to just get along with you for the sake of appearances or getting close to your dad. The ones who willingly accept the package deal so to speak, by making sure you don't feel left out, much love to them!

I respect the kind of female mentors that take someone under her wing and enjoys seeing them prosper, in a mother hen kind of way. Even the ones you may find in a gang for example (which I have witnessed) where they are the oldest and even though they may be getting up to no good as a bad influence, they genuinely look out for the youngings in the crew. Particularly with the more vulnerable ones that have no family/parents, is who they tend to be a mother figure to and I won't deny them that acknowledgement.

Not long ago I wrote and will always highlight, the many grandmothers that end up being the mother and primary guardian to their grandchildren just because life would have it that way, which is usually an economic issue (I sadly hear it in rap songs all the time- J. Cole most recently). When grandmothers move their grandchildren in willingly, with LOVE and responsibility which is technically a burden in any case, that burden is largely appreciated and valued by many individuals that had to be raised by their grandmothers as opposed to their birth mothers. More than one friend of mine comes to mind here, as well as Oprah Winfrey actually (listen to her podcast about her childhood).

I will unapologetically repeat that I am not praising every woman or every mother today. I am literally speaking to MATERNAL mother figures who lovingly and non-regrettably take on this significant role in someone's life.

There are a couple other poems of mine that I wrote years ago where I speak about people that didn't get the chance to be a mother yet due to unfortunate circumstances, where they desperately wanted it but may have miscarried or had a stillbirth and they feel robbed of motherhood. I referred to having hysterectomies, stillbirths and women who only got to enjoy pregnancy in the upcoming months (not to full term). I know there is little comparison and I cannot fully empathise, but to these real people who have lived through such experiences you do have my sympathy and my caring thoughts of you as a "real mother" nonetheless.

To the people that I know personally who are raising their children beautifully and as best they can, "Cheers to you" . To women that are currently expecting or even in labour today about to meet your babies for the first time, this is for you. For the single or young mothers who are really trying to provide and do well but are terrified and unsure of your selves; BE BRAVE, BE LOVING, APPROACH IT KINDLY and WISELY, just celebrate your motherhood today

For the new adoptive mothers who just got the legal approval of adoption and enjoying every moment of being a parent, which is such a beautiful thing (I'm thinking of a certain YouTuber going through this right now), this is for you . To women who have literally saved children (not just purchased a child from a poor country by the way, yeah I said it) and taken them in- not necessarily through the foster system but through a way of humanity where you know that you saved their life just by being supportive and caring in a maternal way that is seriously needed BIG UP YOU. This naturally applies to great foster mothers who also open their doors and theirs hearts to care for children in need. Support and love is everything, so if by any chance you have done that then this celebratory post is very much for you .

To birth mothers who raised children with love, grace, guidance, positive purpose and all the sacrifices and all the joys that came with it. I wish you a very happy Mother's Day

Lastly, I know this does not get said often but I know that there are many mothers who have made some big mistakes in their parenting and have fallen out with the children as a result. Some mistakes are more damaging than others, however as human beings we are all responsible for the decisions that we make so if you have been at fault in this regard (e.g. inflicted harm, pain or neglect as a mother) it is important to take the responsibility and own up to it as opposed to deny or blame your child (I see this common dysfunction far too often).

I say this not to shame but to actually give a SALUTE to the mothers who came to terms with where they have failed in motherhood, check themselves, CORRECT IT and have been ACTIVELY putting in the work to rebuild a relationship with their child/children. To be responsible, rebuild and repair is no easy task. Therefore, if you do not let those hurdles get in your way nor "unforgiveness" from either side get in your way and you're being a better mother, your love is still there, you're still showing it and you're still trying because your love for your child is unconditional, then I do very much wish you a "Happy Mother's Day Day too "

Lauren Kaye

Leap Year Newsletter Out

This month's newsletter for LK Knows Her Writes made it out just in time.

In this edition I give a shout out to Leap Year babies (Happy B'Day) and to women proposing to their men on 29th Feb (best of luck). I also write a little blog on The Oscars, Award Season from my perspective as a Filmmaker, an update on my book tour and my card services for Mother's Day.

All ending with my signature Quote of the Day. If you are missing out and would like to receive my newsletters you can sign up here.

Many Thanks to everyone for your support, especially to those who read them religiously and give encouraging feedback! It's my pleasure as I just want to info-tain and keep you updated ;-)

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Pour Les Mères

Pour Les Mères means 'For Mothers' and I found that title to be fitting because I speak French as one of my 3 languages learned and it goes hand in hand with what you are about to see. It also seems very fitting to have Mother's Day in March 'The International Month of Women' doesn't it? That only applies to the UK and maybe some other places, as other countries celebrate it at different times of the year but it still makes appropriate sense.

I have been fortunate enough to have had many sales from my beloved Custom Poetry Greeting Cards for Mother's Day. I made many mother's happy with the inspiration of their children (my customers) and personal (strictly confidential) information that only they would know and appreciate. It was an honour. Here are a few of the cards that I made:

For this one I reached out to someone who I knew just had his first child with his wife and with my suggestion he said "You're a godsend." Warmed my heart that did, third time I've heard it but it'll never get old and I love to help people. This card turned into more of a booklet as it is 10 pages long, with many pictures, a long and very personal poem to why I will not upload any images of the inside. It's actually the third card I have made that is 10 pages long, awkward to make so needless to say that it is not cheap. I really wanted to make a card for a new mother as I can only imagine how amazing, new and overwhelming that entering motherhood must feel. I haven't seen a Mother's Day card catered to a new mother before ('New Born' cards do not count) so I was happy to take on that task. I was told that his wife was "speechless" when she read it. Mission complete!

The fact that this card and the one before are both purple is purely coincidental as both customers told me that their recipients favourite colour is purple. Also, both customers wanted a personal photo on the cover so I obliged. I really like this one because it is simple yet elegant. The look that I was going for was a 'Swarovski picture frame' since my customer's mum is a lover of the jewellery brand. I attempted that the best way that I could. The Swarovski Swan alone took hours upon end, this is because not only did I hand place each individual crystal, which were a specific mix of shades according to the logo itself by the way, but I had to do it twice! Really. My attempt came off better the second time so I'm not complaining. 

I was told that his mother "loved it" and that his siblings were "a little jealous" so again that left me feeling good. Great infact, knowing that I made another mother and customer happy by giving them what they both wanted if not more. It was a fun project to take on.

Now I put my heart and soul into everything that I commit myself to whether my product is for a stranger or someone close to me but in saying that, naturally I went the extra mile for my mum. Each card took 16-20 hours to make (no joke) but making Mum's card came with alot of sacrifice as I was running out of time and was exhausted from making all the other cards beforehand. At the end of the day, I gave it to her in time, the words were meaningful, sincere and emotional enough to make her tear-up furthermore, it came with an over-the-top beautiful design that she kept asking for as my cards having been getting better and better with each one since I started this business. I.e. Better than the first card I made for her which coincidentally was for Mother's Day last year. Although appreciative of the first card, she became jealous of my later creations made for other people is what I'm saying.

For those extremely observant readers/fans of mine, you may notice that I have used a similar gold (clothing) design in the past and you are right I have. That was for my infamous 'Salsa card' that I made last year, everyone loved that one but Mum really loved it and repeatedly asked for something similar if not the same thing and this 'Mother, Daughter' card is the result of what she asked for and more. There's a private joke to it also that only she and I will understand. I am very proud of this one myself, I've had this idea in my head for the longest time and it finally came to life. Mum absolutely loved it which meant a lot to me. Everyone's happy, I'm happy, this is a 'happy' time and I don't get to say that often so I'm going to live in the moment.

Like I said on Facebook and Twitter #BigUpMums whom are loving, caring, encouraging, educating, sacrificing and just wonderful with their children. Including women who are maternal and loving to those who are not from their own blood.

Miss Lauren Kaye

Mother's, March, Easter & Cards

How is it that Easter can be advertised before Mother’s Day? And not even for religious purposes but just for the tooth decaying purpose of selling increasingly expensive Easter Eggs, I ask you and I ask myself? Not that I’m complaining about all the chocolate, I know the damage that comes with eating excessive amounts but I LOVE’S ME some chocolate as seen on my food blog and in my cupboard.

I've just sent out my 2nd newsletter for my blog and speaking of Mother’s Day which is on Sunday 15^th March in the UK for those that aren’t sure, I have a couple of Mother’s Day custom card orders under my belt as a result of my remarkable, if I do say so myself, Valentine’s cards that I made this month. I really wanted to step up my game as I feel that I missed out last year. The interests that lead to these sales were from both my recent custom orders as well as my new pre-made cards that are selling online. After posting pictures of them on my Facebook page, I literally got 2448 views from that post in just 1 hour!!!!! Then 3175 a few hours later!!! Seriously. That was a much needed esteem boost let me tell you. By the next day it reached 3225 views!! I must be doing something right then.

To see and read more about my recent cards click here. Really guys I went IN with my designs and poetry on those ones, check them out and don’t hesitate to place an order. Not all of them are just made for that particular day by the way, some of them are worded for love/like and adult themes on any occasion. Any day is a good day to say how you feel for someone.

I wrote a pleasurable piece of suggestions on Deevah’s Cravings to advise the best ways to enjoy Valentine’s. Received great feedback from the few that took my advice and nice responses on Twitter so all my efforts paid off. Again, it’s something that can be taken advantage of on any occasion so why don’t you take a look click here.

Other than cards, I am forever preparing my crowdfund and currently doing revisions on my debut poetry book. The first draft looks great but it is incomplete and needs tweaking. This hardback copy itself is super sweet to look at I must say, it is in supreme quality better than I expected and  I am looking extremely forward to the final draft. I’m going hard trus’ me! Newsletters and all!

I’m also looking forward to performing at various events next month and beyond. To book me for an event e.g. International Women’s day, an Ovarian Cancer fundraiser or what have you please do not hesitate to contact me.

Comment below or email me to join my mailing list.

Have a good weekend everyone!

@LK_ReelDeevah