Monday, 29 December 2014

Erotic Performance, Pleasing Myself & Conflict


I performed at Erotic Poetry over the weekend hosted by Charmed Entertainment, where I read an old crowd favourite Forbidden Fruit, a new crowd favourite Make Delicious (no connections or special theme between the two poems I swear), as well as an exclusive of mine called Wilderness. It was a fun show I had a good time and blushed throughout my performance, particularly when performing Wilderness due to the reactions from the audience. It was a large crowd with a great turn out. All the 'Oooh's,' 'Ahhh's, 'Jeeze!' and 'Oh lord!' from listeners is nothing that I'm a stranger to but I never truly get used to it. My highlight of the evening was when two ladies (at the same time) came up to me and said "You're poems were great,”  “You were the best so far." For someone to describe you as "the best" at anything is always wonderful and when it’s pertaining to something that you love it just makes it even better. I was humbled.

Now, much of poetry is recognised for being sensual however, there are times when I do raise the bar and subsequently become selective or just secretive of when and where to share those ones. I wasn’t even going to perform Wilderness but as this was an event dedicated to erotic content I felt comfortable to just put it out there and raise the bar as high as I felt. People often times misunderstand what it means to be erotic or sexy, neither of which instantly means nasty or vulgar. It's all in your delivery and it’s my delivery that I am respected for. 

In saying that, respected or not, it is not my intention to put all of my sexually driven poems in my soon to be released poetry book The Deevah Renaissance Vol.1. A part of me wants to, at first I was going to put every poem that I performed and then some but when I discussed it with a wise friend of mine and they advised me that “Not everything needs to shared.” That was one of the best pieces of advice I had ever received and they were so right.

Not everything does have to be shared it’s just not necessary, I have a right to hold back and be on the safe side. Nonetheless, I know for a fact that there are many people out there who are anticipating those juicy, sexy lyrics of mine that arouse and titillate- I haven’t forgotten you guys. I know some of you personally lol. For my true fans as I know not everyone cares, I need you to understand that I have to consider that my book is going to be read by my family, elders, young people (certain young individuals that look up to me) and professional peers outside of poetry.

A member of Heartless Crew (UK Garage group for those that don’t know) was there too, he performed right after I did and gave me a shout-out, we hadn’t met before but he was referring to my performance. Him and his crew dropped me to the tube station shortly afterwards, the driver (not everyone likes to be named so I shan’t but he was a nice guy) was asking me about my future performances and projects, so I began telling him about the self-publishing of my book, his response was “Is that gonna be your 50 shades of grey?”

Though I know that I have written and performed many erogenous and romantic pieces I seriously didn’t label myself as that kind of artist, as many other pieces of my work are political, thought-provoking and socially conscious. Still, once he made that joke, as funny as it was I realised that that’s probably what some people especially those seeing performances like what I had just done, expect from me. This is why whenever I perform at non-themed shows or regular open mic’s, I always bring a range of pieces with me as I don’t like to be type-cast or predictable as a female. On the other hand I don’t mind having a signature style of some sorts, just as long as it’s positive.

He made me realise that many people are probably looking to read a bunch of lyrical soft porn and that is so not the case. I told him that although I will include some of those popular poems but that will not be the genre of my book nor will I flood the content with that due to the fear of pissing off my family truth be told. How Rihanna does it I don’t know but good on her for doing what she wants and being ‘unapologetic’ about it, pun intended. I am sure my feelings and actions will evolve in a couple years’ time or by the time I publish Vol. 2.

Without him realising it, the anticipation in his voice encouraged me to hold back less and print what I want to print as people want to hear it. The book will be great regardless so I am not worried but FYI; I will ALWAYS perform my unpublished pieces so don’t you worry about that but where printing some of my more controversial pieces are concerned whether it be sexual or political you won’t see all of those in my books. Although, to cater to my audience you will certainly still see some or more of those pieces than I originally envisioned. Just not all.

Despite the advice that my friend gave, as well as trying to be respectful to my family and weary of my professional reputation in all areas, it is important that I do this book for MYSELF. It is not just about pleasing others.  I live for me so I am going to publish for me, it is a SELF-publishing project after all. I have been told and introduced on stage as the one that “starts debates, she starts arguments,” well so be it.

I look forward to sharing my work with you.

THE DEEVAH RENAISSANCE VOL.1
COMING SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment